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AFTER CANCER: WHAT TO DO IF FATIGUE IS INTERFERING WITH SEXUAL FUNCTION?
Posted under Cancer by adminExplore the various causes of diminished sexual function, and address those that apply to you. You cannot force sexual function to return quickly, but you can facilitate its return by
• seeing the change as one of the many aftereffects of your cancer experience
• aiming to develop a sexual balance with your partner that may, of necessity, be different from the earlier balance
• accepting the reality that things will be different for a while, if not forever
• developing new ways to express affection and sexuality that do not deplete your energy reserves
Remember that your partner, too, has to adjust to the changes brought on by your illness and recovery. He or she may be dealing with many of the factors that are bothering you, such as grief, anxiety, depression, anger, and depleted emotional and physical reserves. Moreover, a solution or balance that works for you may be unacceptable to your partner. Simple caressing may satisfy your needs, but not your partner’s. Anytime that two people’s needs and goals get out of synchrony, honest and caring dialogue helps them approach a mutually acceptable solution.
Before blaming any sexual difficulties on fatigue or the cancer experience, reflect on how things were going prior to your illness. Current difficulties may merely be the continuation or reappearance of old problems. If you had sexual difficulties before, chances are that the stress of your treatment and recovery has not helped (although some people do settle problems and attain a new level of intimacy during the cancer treatment phase). Apply the insights and tools gained during your treatment and recovery to any current difficulties; long-standing problems may, at last, be resolved.
Sexuality can be difficult to discuss with your partner under the best of circumstances. Encourage a sharing of feelings and concerns. If you cannot figure out how to broach the subject with your loved one, or if you have tried unsuccessfully, ask your doctor or nurse for referral to someone skilled in dealing with the effects of illness on relationships. Time alone is often a great healer. But why wait? Quality counseling may enable you and your partner to reach a new equilibrium faster. This not only prevents or minimizes the added stress of sexual difficulties; it also gives you the benefit of the psychological lift and emotional comfort of resumed relations.
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